Tonight, as Reid and I are getting ready for bed, I find myself unable to be thankful. Why is this such a struggle? I have had the past two days off work, and yet I am wishing for just one more day of relaxation. I spent my night with Reid, but I am wishing for a few more hours of "us" time. I started catching up on the third season of Grey's Anatomy, but I wish there was time to watch a few more episodes before bedtime. What is keeping me from being thankful for two days off work, quality time spent with my husband, and that I have the luxury of watching two episodes of my favorite TV drama? Frustrated with myself and trying to conquer my negative thinking, I begin to thank God for different things in my life. I start with thanking Him for today, September 11, 2007. I think about what this day means. It means that for the past six years, and even before that, people have been fighting so that I can continue to decide how I spend my day. Passengers fought to detour the hijacked planes to a field in Pennsylvania, rescue workers spent days fighting through debris to save another life, and families will continue to fight to keep the memory of those they lost alive. I get so caught up in MY life, that I forget to think about the big picture, the eternal picture. Graciously, God allows me to learn from my sinful thinking and has taught me that one of the best ways to learn is to share my struggles with others. Are you thankful today?
At 2:00 am this morning, our sweet Mary Grace was welcomed to Heaven. We found out this afternoon that she had a large brain hemorrhage. Reid and I spent three precious hours holding our daughter tonight. The nurses wrapped a pink bow around her little head and we swaddled her in a soft pink elephant blanket. During those hours, we told Mary Grace how proud we were of her fight, how she fulfilled our dreams of one day having a daughter to call "Gracie," and we even took a little nap, snuggled together as a family. If we told her we loved her once, we told her a thousand times. We prayed over her and gave her back to the Lord. We miss her more than words can say. I feel like we were punched in the stomach today and left with the wind knocked out of our lungs. Its so hard to understand "why?" in all of this. Tonight when we left the hospital, Reid turned on this song by David Crowder Band and we listened to it on repeat the whole way home. Its the exact state of our
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