Right before Olivia came home from the hospital Reid and I bought her a little pink blankie. We sort of agreed that we would prefer that none of our kids be super attached to any certain item because it can cause a lot of angst when that special something gets lost. And it always seems that the "extras" you might buy as replacements are never quite as good as the original. We have a few things that I think she really does like to snuggle with - the pink blankie square, a soft white blanket, a Jellycat pig, and an elephant lovey - but she's never shown any real attachment. She's never even been super attached to her paci (which she's used since before she was 30 weeks gestation). Then, yesterday she was fussy, fighting sleep, and I'd run out of options. I thought about what I wanted when I was little and had trouble falling asleep... My blanket by my face! So, I grabbed the little blankie and tucked it by her face and she immediately grasped it, calmed down, and fell asleep. I thought maybe it was a fluke, but she did it again today. Sweet girl!
At 2:00 am this morning, our sweet Mary Grace was welcomed to Heaven. We found out this afternoon that she had a large brain hemorrhage. Reid and I spent three precious hours holding our daughter tonight. The nurses wrapped a pink bow around her little head and we swaddled her in a soft pink elephant blanket. During those hours, we told Mary Grace how proud we were of her fight, how she fulfilled our dreams of one day having a daughter to call "Gracie," and we even took a little nap, snuggled together as a family. If we told her we loved her once, we told her a thousand times. We prayed over her and gave her back to the Lord. We miss her more than words can say. I feel like we were punched in the stomach today and left with the wind knocked out of our lungs. Its so hard to understand "why?" in all of this. Tonight when we left the hospital, Reid turned on this song by David Crowder Band and we listened to it on repeat the whole way home. Its the exact state of our