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New Space

Where do I begin? My blog was neglected as life continued to blaze ahead. The girls have grown, and we even added a new girl. I can't possibly recap six full years of our life, but I can share what my heart has learned. I hope to do just that in this new space.


Recent posts

Family of Four

If all continues to go well we will be headed home from the hospital tomorrow. I got a little stir crazy this afternoon and walking the halls just wasn't going to cut it so I went down to the gift shop to browse a bit. It feels so good to actually feel good after surgery. I also feel pretty rested and I'm very ready to settle into our new normal at home.

My dad and Ann have been taking care of Olivia and have been such a tremendous help to us. Reid's parents were in town until this afternoon and Olivia got to spend some time with them yesterday. She's been very well taken care of by all her grandparents and I'm pretty sure she hasn't thought twice about us. Out of sight, out of mind.

She has had a cough for a few days so Reid took her to the doctor this morning. Sure enough the cough is just allergy related but sweet girl has her first ear infection. The good news is that she hasn't run a fever and was able to get antibiotics to treat it.

For all the change O…

Welcome, Mary Brooke!

Our sweet daughter made her grand entrance into the world early Saturday morning, November 16. I went to bed around 11 pm and woke up just after 12:15 am when my water broke. We quickly packed bags and got Olivia ready to drop off at a friends house on our way to the hospital. It was so surreal! We made it to the hospital a little after 1 am and things moved pretty quickly from there. Mary Brooke was born at 2:34 am via c-section, weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces and was 19 1/4 inches long. She's a pretty good size baby for being born at 36w2d. She has done amazingly well and we are so grateful!

Two big things about her birth I want to share. Both point to the goodness of God and the fact that He is in control of all things. I had prayed from very early on in this pregnancy that my water would break in the weeks leading up to my scheduled c-section. Reid and I both talked often about how we would love to have that experience and it be exciting, not terrifying like last time. In the grand…

T-3 Weeks

I realize that I haven't blogged about this pregnancy at all other than the two big highlights: that there was a pregnancy and when we found out she was a girl!

Things have been pretty uneventful. We did have a little "scare" at 24 weeks. Really, it just came down to me not knowing what a normal pregnancy felt like. This baby is a mover and must have been doing flips or something that caused a super weird sensation. But, after a few hours and tests in L&D one Saturday afternoon we learned everything was perfectly fine.

To be honest, I think a lot of why I haven't blogged much this time around is because I still worry from time to time that everything has been too perfect. It's been hard to go from a worst case scenario to a normal one. I feel extremely grateful and my doctor reminds me with every visit that God has been so gracious to us. And He has, don't get me wrong. Worry crept in at the very beginning, literally the moment the "yes" showed u…

Grandma Ann

Let me first start by saying this is one of the many posts that is long overdue. I'm hoping to get caught up in the next few weeks with all the happenings of this year!
In June 2012 my dad was set up on a blind "date" with a lady named Ann. They had never met which is extremely strange for two people who have lived in Little Rock, what I will always consider a small town, their entire adult lives. They both went into the meeting with the expectation that, at the very least, this person would be a fun friend to go to dinner, movies, etc. with. Well, they instantly hit it off that night and have been together ever since! My dad proposed just before Christmas and they were married at their church, in a simple ceremony with just the two of them and their pastor, on Valentine's Day of this year.
I could go on and on and on about how amazing Ann is and how lucky we ALL are that she's part of our family now. She is one of the most genuine, caring people I have ever met.…

23w4d

Well, we made it! It's crazy to think we are now past the point at which Olivia, Madelyn and Mary Grace were born. It's crazy to know exactly what the baby inside me looks like. It's all just crazy. There are a lot of thoughts that have been swirling around my mind the past several weeks. I've felt sad for Olivia that her first months of life were so rough. I think back to those first few months of her life - all the poking and prodding, the machines and wires - and it breaks my heart that she didn't get to stay tucked away in my womb for longer. That's one of the things her doctors always told us in the NICU, no one has figured out how to recreate the womb. I had a lot of anxiety as we approached 22 weeks (the date my water broke with the girls). I've had nothing but great reports from my doctor, but it's really hard to try to reason or distract yourself from worry when you've lived through a worst case scenario. I have to make a conscious decision…

"Why You Didn't Fail As A Mother"

When we found out we were pregnant in November 2011 we were given a due date. That date was July 30. We would find out a few weeks later that making it full term wasn't going to happen while carrying four babies. Still, everything we did revolved around that date, how early they would be born was measured from that date, and, even now, everything we work on developmentally with Olivia is measured by that date.

Last night a website called Still Standing Magazine reposted a month old blog entry on Facebook. I don't think it was by coincidence that it showed up in my news feed. I think, on the eve of what would have been my girls' first birthday, God knew I needed to read it. It addresses so many of the lies I still battle to overcome. If you've ever lost a child - whether miscarriage, stillbirth, or any age after birth - I hope this touches you as it did me.

Why You Didn't Fail As A Mother by Angela Miller