I had my visit with the cardiologist today. The good news is that after a long visit, with lots of tests, I was told my heart looks great! Bad news is that the reason my heart feels like it palpitates is due to a high stress level. I guess I internalize a lot more about my mom than I even realized, obviously enough to make my heart palpitate! Yikes! I made an appointment to go and talk to a great Christian counselor about practical ways I can try to manage my stress/worries. I know, I have already been told to"Lay all my worries at Jesus' feet." Not to knock it, but sometimes it is a lot easier said than done. I struggle with control, and when I can't be there to see what is going on with my mom then I worry and worry equals stress. Blah!
At 2:00 am this morning, our sweet Mary Grace was welcomed to Heaven. We found out this afternoon that she had a large brain hemorrhage. Reid and I spent three precious hours holding our daughter tonight. The nurses wrapped a pink bow around her little head and we swaddled her in a soft pink elephant blanket. During those hours, we told Mary Grace how proud we were of her fight, how she fulfilled our dreams of one day having a daughter to call "Gracie," and we even took a little nap, snuggled together as a family. If we told her we loved her once, we told her a thousand times. We prayed over her and gave her back to the Lord. We miss her more than words can say. I feel like we were punched in the stomach today and left with the wind knocked out of our lungs. Its so hard to understand "why?" in all of this. Tonight when we left the hospital, Reid turned on this song by David Crowder Band and we listened to it on repeat the whole way home. Its the exact state of our
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